we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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