just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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