i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
