so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
