No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
