I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
