Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
