Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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