i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
