I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
