She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
