turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
