I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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