Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
