420 ftw
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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