Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
