1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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