how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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