just come out here and I will go home with you...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize