I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
