I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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