Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
