I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
