names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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