college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
