I wannas sexs uuuuu
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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