I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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