i think my tv is drunk
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize