I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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