Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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