This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
