Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
