I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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