You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
