Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
