i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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