I wanna passion pit in your ass
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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