I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
