I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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