I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
