i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
barbara walters just said penis...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
