so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
