I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
