opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
