when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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