Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
