I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
