I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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