Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
its liver damage thursday
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