I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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