Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
