sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
