it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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