Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
