It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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