Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
