Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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