I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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