last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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